Raising kids from a place of self love with Laura

An interview with Laura as she shares her thoughts on gentle motherhood and raising her children with self love

In my series on motherhood I want to portray the diversity of the motherhood experience and what it means to be a mother now. I’m interested in telling stories through other mamas to give insight into their approach to motherhood, be it their struggles, triumphs, their deepest feelings, how they have evolved and grown, perhaps how they raise their children connected to nature and live with a light footprint or how they approach mothering consciously. 

I want to portray the essence of motherhood in every family’s unique language. There is value in opening a dialogue and worth in sharing perspectives, thoughts, fears and dreams and in allowing ourselves to honour our children's innate natures and supporting ourselves as mamas.

Today I have the pleasure of sharing a story by Laura, a beautiful and generous soul. She lives with her gorgeous family in Christchurch, New Zealand. *This was originally published in 2019 and her family has since grown…stay tuned for another interview with her coming soon - Charlotte

Laura and her sweet daughter, sharing thoughts on her family values, developing her children’s self love and confidence.

Motherhood feels like slowing down. Like the completion of a circle. 

My hopes and dreams for my children is for them to live authentically. Marnie is inquisitive, original and older than her years. Gabriel is newborn so right now breastfeeding feels like a gift, a blessing.

Our little family is close, always together. I see my role as a comfort to come back to. I spend a lot of time with my children so have to make sure that the activities we do are more often than not ones that I will enjoy too. If they see my love for new experiences, or the arts or creating things then they will develop the same love of learning naturally. I’m excited about mutual discovery of the world through new eyes. I want them to learn about the world through experience and storytelling and travel and through meeting lots of unique people. I like to view motherhood as guiding my children on their life journeys, like a gentle nudge in the right directions.

My children have taught me the importance of self awareness. They have allowed for slow process of self discovery of areas that have been an issue for me my whole life.  Mum guilt feels like a daily struggle but motherhood has allowed me to be stronger in the choices I make. Family first. Don't speed through life. Stand up for the kind of family life that is right for you all and don't sacrifice your vision. The relentless responsibility and differing opinions and philosophy feel challenging. I feel nervous that I will raise them from a place of fear. Global politics oftentimes makes me feel nervous or scared, especially the ignorance around global warming. But ultimately my children make me excited to learn new things and rediscover the world. We are raising them to be citizens of the world through travel, offering new experiences, exposing them to the arts, discussing respect for different cultures, being open to talking about religion.

The values that propel my mothering: family first, don't speed through life, stand up for the kind of family life that is right for you all and don't sacrifice your vision.

The lives we lead are so disconnected from the original use of the term “it takes a village to raise a child” that we often forget how to live as a proper community.  Secure attachment is everything to me and my husband. We want our children to feel that they belong in our family no matter what. To encourage an open and honest relationship we avoid embarrassment and shame. We answer questions honestly. We acknowledge that some topics are uncomfortable or scary to talk about but we talk through them anyway. 

My hopes for our children’s generation as they grow are that they don't have to stress about the state of the world! That they can be honest about who they are and true to themselves. We teach kindness and empathy and valuing other people by display these traits. We discuss acts of kindness or talk about people that may have displayed acts of unkindness or disregard.

As a child I spent lot of time alone to deal with issues that were too big for my age. As a mum, now I can see that my thoughts on managing or expressing emotions in front of my children are about being honest but not sharing opinions, feelings, emotions or experiences that are beyond their developmental capability and not scaring a child or not displaying any huge emotion without later discussing it with them. It has taken me a long time to discover that my response to these off track behaviour is everything. If I am calm, my home and children are calm. But I also have to slow down sometimes and notice tiredness, hunger and over stimulation can contribute.

Developing your children’s sense of self, worth, confidence and self love is so important in what we value our children to learn and why we have chosen to homeschool. To be a success in this world your actions must come from a place of self love. They have to value and honour themselves and be strong in who they are for others to treat them with value and honour.

Laura and her daughter, sharing her thoughts on slowing down in her motherhood, creating a calm home environment and teaching emotional awareness